Blog - Spirit of Christmas (2006-11-29)
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Category: Diary. Posted: 2006-11-30 01:04:51 GMT.
Just as I was going to sleep last night, I heard a loud bang - "surely squirrels can't make that much noise", I thought. When I woke up, I found that it was simply the lead from the toothbrush charger falling down. That made much more sense! I'd replaced the batteries in my bike lights last night, and I was impressed how much difference it made. Maybe I should change them more often than every 3 months.
Another long day at work, but it was nicely interrupted by some sexy eastern European totty coming in to offer me lunch. I didn't have time, but I did enjoy perving at her arse as she walked away! Later on, an eastern European bloke turned up to deliver some wood next door, but they had finished for the day. I took the delivery, but it wasn't the same as the totty earlier on! I popped home quickly before heading into Windsor to meet Bird.
I had no idea how long it would take me to cycle to Windsor, but reckoned it would take about half-an-hour. I had arranged to meet Bird at 7PM, so left home at 18:40. Fortunately, I was wrong about how long it would take me to cycle to Windsor, so managed to lock my bike up, and walk to the theatre, before 7PM. While I was waiting for Bird, I checked inside, and discovered that there was some top totty serving in the confectionery kiosk. When Bird arrived, we collected the tickets, and then went for a pint. I'd already eaten, because Bird wanted to have a pizza, but I didn't want to pay for bottled lager!
We had a quick pint in the smoke-free Wetherspoon's, and another one in what used to be the Slug and Lettuce (I can't remember its name, but it's also smoke-free). There was top totty in both of them, but we had a performance of Spirit of Christmas to watch, so we went back to the theatre. I decided to leave my bag and coat at the cloakroom, but realised I had to pay 50p per item, so put my cap and coat inside my bag, and handed it over. While I was doing this, Bird went to buy some sweets. I couldn't believe that she went to speak to ConfectioneryBird, without waiting for me. Trust me - I had words later!
As we walked downstairs, Bird suggested that we order half-time drinks. That was a bit controversial, she had obviously forgotten my skill of always being first at the bar, no matter where I'm sitting. She wasn't convinced that we'd even be near an aisle, but I don't let minor things like that bother me (Blog; 25/09/06 for example). She wanted to go to the "little girls' room" before we went, so that meant that I had to wait outside, while lots of ladies walked past. It's a hard life! When we sat down, we discovered that we were on the far right-hand side of the theatre, and right next to the door. Job done! Bird had asked for the best seats in the house, and she'd done well. Before the performance started, I checked exactly what we were watching (it was Bird's Christmas present to me). I said, "Let me get this right, I just have to sit here, sing along to Christmas songs, and perve at totty". "Yes", she replied, "and drink beer as well". Excellent! I was worried that there might be a plot.
As soon as it started, I wasn't disappointed. We were on the third row back, and had an excellent view of all the totty. As Bird pointed out - no wonder the 4 male dancers were smiling; there were at least 20 female dancers. So much totty, that I needed my cap - if only I hadn't left it in the cloakroom! About half-way through the first half, they tried to get the audience to clap when told to. Obviously, I felt the need to clap when I shouldn't, and seemed to start a trend! Anyway, I spent the first half almost lost for words. As soon as the first half had finished, I stood up and dashed to the bar. Bird wasn't far behind me, which was fortunate, because the usher hadn't opened the door in time, and I ended up trying to get into a cupboard!
Anyway, Bird went for a jimmy, while I headed to the bar. I asked for a San Miguel, and a white coffee (the Senorita Beater was for me, of course). The barman said that they don't serve hot drinks at the bar, but that I had to buy hot drinks from the coffee bar. I took my Senorita Beater to the coffee bar, and waited. After about a minute, a woman said, "Did you want a white coffee?". "Yes", I replied. "It's just in front of you, that'll be £1.60". How's that for service, she'd heard me ask at the bar, and sorted it out. I'd managed to get served twice before most people had even got to the bar!
The second half was as good as the first half. Lots of sexy women, with great legs, in sexy Santa outfits. Fairly early on, one of the women started walking along the front row, singing the "Santa Baby" song. Everyone on the front row was at least 70, so didn't get that involved. We were only two rows back, and there were empty seats on the front row. I was tempted to change seats, and then Bird nudged me, and said, "I dare you to sit down there". Well, that was all the encouragement I needed! To the sounds of applause and laughter, I moved two rows forward. The Santa totty realised this, and ended up sitting in my lap. I love Bird - this turned out to be such an excellent early Christmas present.
After more Christmas songs, more dancing totty, and more drooling, the show ended. It was a pity, but all good things come to an end. We went for a quick drink in The George afterwards. While I was getting served, I turned round to find where Bird was sitting, and saw her chatting to a barman. She doesn't waste any time! Still, the barmaid serving me was totty. About half-way through my pint, I went for a jimmy. When I got back, she was chatting to the same barman, and the totty barmaid. They were trying to figure out how to fit 50 people into the dining area. This was fine with me, because it meant the totty barmaid kept leaning over our table!
After our drinks, I walked Bird half-way to her car, before cycling back. We walked past the Eaton T-shirt shop (I'll put the pictures up tomorrow). While walking back towards my bike, I saw the Eaton Sanatorium again, but (like before), I still don't know what a Sanatorium is. My journey back didn't take too long, but when there were no street lights, it was a bit difficult to see. I tried turning my front light off its flashing mode, and onto its normal mode. I was amazed how much difference it made, before I realised that a car was overtaking me!
Thanks, Bird, for a top early Christmas present, I love you.
 CherryBoy (Northants, UK) 2006-12-03 10:58:56 GMT
Sounds like a cracking night. I bet you must have made a large deposit in the "bank".
I believe a sanatorium is where they send people to get saner. Also known as "The Funny Farm".
 Billy (Slough) 2006-12-06 00:20:57 GMT
Oh yes, I'll be cashing that one in later!
According to Wikipedia, a Sanatorium is a "medical facility for long-term illness, typically tuberculosis".
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Created on: 15 Jun 2006. Modified on: 15 Jun 2006.
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