Other People's Moans
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Well, I suppose that if I'm going to moan about things on my website, the least that I can do is to allow other people to vent their anger as well. Two people so far have asked for moans to be put up on my website.
Liz's Moans About English
I think that I just need to quote her e-mail to me directly:
I just visited your web page, was intrigued by your correct use of an apostrophe page....likewise other people's punctuation had been bothering me for ages' (sorry, am not about to join the ranks of the completely stupid, felt i had to tease by "slipping a couple in" ....not sure how juvenile you are and whether school boy double entendre is still your thing....anyhow shut up liz).
apostrophes are very irritating when wrongly applied to a punctuation situation, but what i find much more annoying is the sort of people that dont understand BASIC items of punctuation (the apostrophe is definitely higher level punctuation when compared to such items as a full stop or a question mark, in my opinion the mis-application of such an item indicates stupidity of the highest echelons, if indeed that in itself is not contradictory). as you can see, i have used a long and fairly complex sentence structure which lends itself to the use of clause breaking commas and various brackets....i can forgive people, not least myself, for occasional confusion in these circumstances. however, what i totally cannot forgive is the unecessary insertion of commas. in fact, incorrect, not just unecessary. some very stupid people seem to believe that the random insertion of the comma makes their statement appear intelligent. for example "an then i sed hit, the bloke" or something, without due consideration to whether there was a "pause"...
anyhow, if you feel like updating your web site i would be most honoured if you wrote a chapter on the comma. and even one on over use of exclamation marks....you know the sort of thing:
here's a not very funny sentence at all you will split your sides laughing and find it the funniest thing ever though if i include a random exclamation mark at the end! or even 2!! or lets go crazy and add five more !!!!! oh my god you had better call an ambulance as i have split my sides laughing. help! oh god thats funny too im in an even worse state....help. can you tell im bored by the way?
Pete Bond's Moans About English
Pete has complained to me about people who confuse two similar words in the English language. For example:
Too and to:
I have eaten too much curry.
May I come too?
I would like to go to the cinema tonight.
Lose and loose
Do you want to lose the game?
She seems like a loose woman.
Your and you're (see my page on the apostrophe)
I like your new car.
You're not going to believe this.
for you, it is apostrophes. for me, it is poeple who cannot distinguish between there, their and they're. and also, your and you're.
spotted on a yorkshire divers' signature:
"If your not a Socialist when your young, your heartless. If your not a Capitalist when your old, your stupid."
It actually makes me angry inside.
(it's on here somewhere if you can be bothereD:
My god, someone after my own heart. I've just read your blog. Why does the apostrophe elude so many people? It's not exactly bloody quantum mechanics is it? And don't get me started on British Gas! They installed our new boiler and for 2 years it never worked properly. I then got an independent bloke in to have a butcher's and he basically said that they'd installed it incorrectly. They hadn't even plumbed the bloody thing in the right way round! So an extra £800 finally fixed the problem and the thing has never worked so well.
Grrrrr. British Gas. Oh! And that stupid grumpy old woman in Tesco the other day that made my wife and daugther so upset just because she wanted to pay for a pocket money toy with her pocket money she'd spent months saving up.
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Created on: 16 Nov 2004. Modified on: 23 Aug 2007.
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