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Rodney's Wales Trip (being written)

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Friday 11th April

The diving in Wales had been cancelled because of the bad weather. We were offered shore diving, but there was no way that I was going to hire a car, and drive all the way to the west coast of Wales just to do some shore diving. I'd therefore arranged to dive with Scimitar Diving (Smudge had bought the dive operation from Aquasplash), but we weren't due to dive until 14:30, so Rob, Rodney, and I were going to go to Bath for beer and curry, before driving down to Weymouth with Dindin on Saturday morning. I'd booked us into the Royal Breakwater Hotel, which seemed safe, because it wasn't summer, and Olly wasn't there to poison us with lumpy UHT milk! Although the weather forecast was bad, I knew the diving wasn't going to be cancelled, because the newsagent's shop between my work and National Car Rental hadn't run out of scotch eggs.

Rob sent me a text message saying that he'd arrive at about half-three, and he arrived at almost exactly 15:30. We weren't in much of a rush, so had a quick cuppa, before chucking his stuff in the back of the motor, and setting off to collect Rodney. I'd already set waypoints of Rodney's house and Sam and Dindin's house in the SatNav, so all we had to do was to decide which amusing voice to use, and then drive. I had to drive today, because we'd decided to show Rob's license to National Car Rental in Bath tomorrow, rather than wasting good drinking time today. Yoda was the most amusing voice, but also the most annoying, so we didn't have him on there for long. Something had caused tailbacks on the M4, but C3PO told us to stay on the motorway.

This seemed to be the right decision, but things got a bit confusing with the SatNav when we got close to Rodney's house - it took us round in a big circle, and then back out onto the main road. It seems that it doesn't actually tell us when we're going past a waypoint, so it took us past Rodney's front door (he'd moved house, so I didn't recognise it), and then onto Bath! After quickly reprogramming the SatNav, we got back to Rodney's house, loaded his kit into the car, and set off to Bath. There was too much traffic in Reading for my liking, but once we'd got back on the M4, things seemed to be flowing OK.

It didn't take that long to get to Bath. By the end of the journey, we'd decided that the Darleks and Darth Vader were more amusing, but the C3PO was nicer to listen to. We arrived in Bath, but I knew it was going to be hard work trying to park a large estate car near Laura Place. I wanted to drive towards the park that Mark and Colleen had their post-wedding pictures taken, but the boys wanted to park somewhere closer. We drove around for 5 or 10 minutes, before the boys agreed that parking by the park was the best idea. We found a big enough space, and I parked. I went to get my back out of the boot, and Rob and Rodney scoffed - "What do you need a bag for? You're not a girl!", they said. "Toothbrush", I replied. They then took their bags out of the car too! We walked back to the ticket machine, and got a ticket that would hopefully be valid from 08:00 to 10:00 tomorrow. I walked back to the car, opened up the car, moved my TomTom charger out of sight, and then walked back along the road. Realising I still had the ticket in my hand, I then walked back to the car, put the ticket on the dashboard, and walked back to join the boys.

Becky was going to be able to meet us for a drink, but only if we were in the pub in about 5 minutes' time. I therefore called Dindin while we were walking along, to make sure that Sam would be ready. I didn't need to worry - she was ready to go, and looking as sexy as always. We dropped off our bags, and then went to the Boater. Olly and Megan were already there, and Becky joined us soon afterwards (again, looking as gorgeous as always). It was a pity Becky could only stay for one drink, but I was going to see her next Friday, so it didn't really matter. I can't remember much about what was discussed in the Boater, but we did discuss a disgusting sex act (I won't be mentioning that here!), and Olly told me that the iPod Touch doesn't have Bluetooth. I was sure that I'd seen on the specifications that it does, but never mind. Expecting to be drinking in Weymouth, I got the number of Nicky's Taxis from Olly. I gave him jip for not having an apostrophe in the name, but he blamed it on the business card that he'd been given. Not a chance - we checked the business card, and there definitely was an apostrophe!

We then went to Jamuna for a curry (via Natwest cash machines, which, of course, I refused to use). As usual the food and service didn't disappoint, but I didn't bother ordering the mattaar panneer. Towards the end of the meal, I was shocked to find that Olly and Rob had to point out the great cleavage on the table next to us. I couldn't believe that I hadn't noticed those two beauties, but maybe we just had enough totty on our table already! I didn't have any cash, and paying by credit card was going to be too confusing, so Dindin kindly slipped in a tenner for me. I'll have to buy tea and beer tomorrow to make up for that. As we walked down the stairs, we saw a knackered old red hat. For reasons that I didn't really understand, Rodney had left his cap on the stairs when we walked up them, and then forgot to collect it when we walked back down!

Back at Sam and Dindin's gaff, we drank tea, and ate chocolate. Thanks to Sam for letting us have some of her chocolate biscuits, to Dindin for letting me have the breast mug, and to Rob and Rodney for letting me have the spare bed.

Saturday 12th April

We reckoned we had loads of gimmering time, so drank lots of tea. I knew I had to move the car by 10:00, so left to collect it. I was amused to see a woman on a bike towing something big enough to contain my twin-set. According to Sam, she often cycles around Bath. We loaded up the car, and set off. We stopped at National Car Rental so that we could add Rob to the insurance, and it took ages. For some reason, it also took ages to drive to Weymouth - almost as if TomTom took us the wrong way. I don't remember much about the journey, but I do remember Rob insisting that the Network Card had a minimum spend at weekends (I knew he was wrong, but gave up telling him!), and feeling tired on the way, so handing over the driving to Rob so I could have a kip.

I really enjoyed our first dive. Dindin went off through a swim-through, and I followed him, but lost him in a cloud of rust. I swam around a bit, and eventually found him with the wreck in one hand, and his stab jacket in the other. I knew I'd just get in the way if I offered to help, but, just in case I had any ideas of helping, Dindin made it fairly clear that I was to keep my distance! He got his kit back on, and we continued the dive. On the boat on the way back, the others didn't fancy another dive. I was up for one, but beer and curry also seemed good, so went with their suggestion. However, they soon changed their mind when they realised that they'd have to pay for the dive anyway!

The second dive was good, but it did mean that we finished diving quite late. We showered quickly, had a pint, and then got a taxi into Weymouth for a curry. On the way there, I got a text message from Cherryboy that said "You can't phone me up and call me cherryboy anymore.......". I was lost for words, and it took me a couple of minutes to gain enough composure to tell the others what my text message had said. As Rob pointed out, it's the end of an era. Not only that, but Cherryboy had had sex more recently than me!

We were surprised to find out that the Ship Inn didn't have any Nettle Beer, because it's a summer beer, and it wasn't summer yet.

[To be continued.....]

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Created on: 23 Apr 2008. Modified on: 04 Nov 2008.
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