Totty Roads

Weymouth 2007 - Trip 2

RSS Feed Atom Feed 
Other feeds
What's New 0 comments ]

Still needs to be proof-read. Sorry for any mistakes.

Friday 30th May

Gordy and Emma had taken Friday off work, to do some shallow check-out dives. Unfortunately, Gordy had drunk too much the night before, so Emma had to dive on her own. He is such a bad boyfriend, she ought to go out with me!

As usual before a dive trip, I left work a bit early, collected the car from National Car Rental, drove home, loaded up the car, and then drove to Bath to collect Dindin. On the way back home, I popped into Tesco to get some breakfast, and some Optrex. It was so busy, it took me about 5 minutes just to find a parking space - give me a bike any day! We had a good trip down there, but Gordy was getting impatient. We got a text message from Emma, which said, "Chop. The f*ck. Up" (but without the asterisk). We were hoping to get to Tango by 21:00, but things weren't looking good. We eventually arrived in sight of the bridge at 20:58. With a bit of speeding, I managed to cross the bridge just before 21:00. Job done! We found Gordy and Emma at the boat, but they had already eaten. Dindin said that we should unload the car straight away, because the boat would be much lower in the morning. This seemed like a good idea, so we quickly unloaded, and then went off for a curry. There was plenty of space in the curry house (and some totty with a very nice cleavage), so we went for a quick pint first. There was lots of totty in the pub (again with very nice cleavage), but the Karaoke scared us out of the pub, and into the curry house.

Back at the boat, Dindin got his usual bench in the cabin, and I took one of the bottom bunks of the boat. I had expected it to be really cold, but Phil had provided us with a fan heater. Gordy and Emma had left it on. I couldn't decided whether to turn it off, or not, but thought I'd get told off if I did, and we don't want a grumpy Gordy!

Saturday 31st May

We all woke up early enough, and were all feeling fairly warm. We had a fair bit of gimmering around to do, but Dindin and I managed to get the good seats at the back of the boat. Other divers started turning up, so we helped their kit on board. The boat was almost level with the land, so, of course, we had to give Dimdin jip for that! I can't remember much about the other divers, but there was one really friendly bird, who kitted up next to us. She was pretty fit, mentioned about flashing while using the toilet, and told us the names of her tits. What a pity her boyfriend was with her! I managed to shock Dindin by saying that she was very attractive, a lot of fun, and asking whether she had a single sister. I learnt an important lesson that morning - check how much air is in my tanks before the boat leaves shore. I had two stages, a twin-set, and a single 15-litre cylinder. Between that lot, I only just had enough air for two dives, and they were both shallower than 20m!

The journey out there was really bouncy - as is often the case, I think that Phil was the only skipper to venture out. Our first dive was the Black Hawk, and the second dive was a scallop dive somewhere more sheltered. I can't remember much about either dive, but the visibility on the second dive was so bad, that the only way that Dindin could tell what signal I was giving (which was, unsurprisingly, up) was when he held onto my hand, and felt the signal! Unfortunately, although Dindin had fixed the leaks through the inflate and dump valves, the suit was still leaking elsewhere.

Back on dry land, we went to use the showers. I didn't realise that we weren't technically allowed to use them, so might have got Phil in a bit of trouble. Back at the boat, there were two blokes sitting at the top of the ladder eating chips. I said, "hello" to them, and discovered that they were the two blokes who were joining us on the boat for the night. Nobody else had bothered to say "hello", I'm going to have to teach them manners! On the boat, they both started giving a fair bit of jip, I had a feeling that we were going to get on well! One of them said that with his style of hair, we should call Dimdin "Tin tin". Sounded like a good idea to me!

Last weekend, Smudge had mentioned about being able to fill our own cylinders at Aqua Splash, and only paying for the air used. We therefore went over there to get our "training course". The self-service machine wasn't working, so we ended up paying over the odds for our fills. Gagging for a cuppa, we also paid over the odds for teas as well. Gimmeration!

As we were heading back, Gordy mentioned that he liked the windscreen wipers, and asked me to use them. Forgetting that he'd opened the sunroof, I washed the windscreen, and sprayed Dindin and Emma. Oooops. Gordy also criticised me for cutting up a cyclist, when the cyclist was a long way behind. The cheeky git, he should try opening his eyes!

Back at the boat, we put all the cylinders into the hold, and then went off for a pint. As we were walking towards the pub, we noticed that the "new boys" had put their twin-sets out already. With the boat being moored just next to a pub, we didn't like this idea, but hoped that they'd be OK. The only problem was, they had nicked our good kitting up space. As we were walking towards the pub, we bumped into the new boys, who joined us for a pint in the Old Rooms Inn. While we were driving back from Portland, Gordy had controversially suggested eating in a "normal" restaurant, rather than the Mexican that Dindin and I were going to eat at. I eventually came around to something different, and we ate at The Galley Bistro. I can't remember much about the food, but Gordy had the biggest fish known to man, and there were several waitresses, one with a fantastic cleavage. Just as we were leaving, the "new boys" walked in with their two mates. They'd been unable to get a table at the Wetherspoon, where they had gone for cheap food, so had decided to eat at the fairly expensive Galley Bistro.

I think we had a quick pint somewhere (probably Ship Inn, but maybe The George. We didn't stay out for long, because we were all knackered. As Dindin and I were drinking tea, Gordy was harrasing Emma in the bunk room. Emma was heard to say, "Bummy! No!", closely followed by Gordy saying, "Come to Daddy!". Oh dear! The "new boys" came back, and turned on the TV to watch Match of the Day. Not being interested in football, I decided to call it a night. The fan heater was switched off, so I left it off.

Sunday 1st April

It was still warm enough without having had the fan heater wasting electricity all night, and we woke up early enough to go for breakfast. I say "we", I meant Dindin, the "new boys", and me. Gordy and Emma stayed asleep. The breakfast was good, but the "new boys" (who were at least 10 years older than me) were perving at some jailbait! Back on the boat, all our cylinders were out on deck (thanks to everybody who got them out of the hold). Gordy was whinging about not being invited to breakfast (I can never win with him, when we wake him up, he complains, when we don't, he complains), although he did point out that Emma wasn't invited anyway (well nobody was actually invited, we just went), and that they were wearing ear plugs. Fair point.

The boat seemed to have filled up with a load of Brummies. It was like having a boat-load of Queenies on board - we needed him to translate. The sea was really choppy, but we made it out to the M2. Dindin was feeling rough, so I dived with Gordy and Emma. There was a lot of gimmering around by the other skipper with the shot, but, after at least 30 minutes waiting around, we got in the water. We got to the bottom, swam around for a bit, and could see bugger all. I saw Gordy signalling up (so the visibility was better than yesterday's), and up we went. A total dive time of 13 minutes. When I got into the wheelhouse, I found that all the dodgy brummies had eaten all my sweets. Queenie would never had done that! Still, one of them made us tea (controversially, I had realised earlier on that we'd been drinking decaffeinated tea), and another asked us to join him diving later on in the year (he assured us that the sweet-stealing lot wouldn't be there!). Unfortunately, the weekend that he suggested clashed with one of Rich and Chris's weekends, so we couldn't join them.

Back on shore, we filled cylinders, ate fish 'n' chips, and drove back to Bath. Nothing that exciting happened on the way back (Dindin slept most of the way, and there wasn't much totty to perve at). We unloaded the car, and had a quick cuppa. After all the gimmering finding a parking space last weekend, I decided to leave the car on the double-yellow lines, and have a cuppa outside.

As I was driving up the A46, there was a sign saying that the M4 was closed eastbound from J18 to J17. Fortunately, it was fairly easy to drive to Chippenham, and join the M4 at J17. I was not impressed to see lots of cars travelling eastbound along the M4 when I joined at J17!


Bookmark with:
Post to Delicious Post to Digg Post to reddit Post to Facebook Post to StumbleUpon Post to Furl 

© 2002-2021. [ Contact me ] [ Site Map ] [ Guestbook ][ Privacy ]
Created on: 15 Apr 2007. Modified on: 20 May 2007.
Valid HTML 4.01
Valid CSS