Totty Roads

Scary and Billy's Twin-set weekend

GingerCherry
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Thursday 24th June
Scary was keen to get some twin-set action in before we went to Scapa later on in the year, so he'd arranged to do a couple of dives at Chepstow with Neil. I picked up a car on Thursday evening and drove down to Bath. There was a football match on at the time (England had to win this in order to stay in some cup), but I was determined that I was going to miss it.

I left at around the time that the match started, hoping that I'd arrive in Bath just as the match finished. The M4 was almost empty, and every vehicle that I saw had only totty in it - there were no blokes on the motorway at all. Before I knew it, I was almost at Swindon, and the match was still going. I continued my journey at 56mph, and arrived in Bath just as the match should have finished. Unfortunately, there was a bit of extra-time action because neither team was ahead. Scary assured me that it was still a group match, so it didn't matter if England lost.

After the match (which resulted in England being knocked out of whatever cup it was, because it wasn't a group match), Scary, Dindin, SarahT, and I went to the curry house for a bite to eat, and some beers. After that, Dindin was up for joining us for some beers in town, but Sarah had other ideas (she's a dodgy old tart that one!). Scary and I headed into what used to be The Oliver and perved at some totty.

Back at Scary's place, he found a map of where we were staying in Plymouth, but his printer didn't work. Fortunately, I had the brilliant idea of taking a picture of the laptop's screen with my digital camera.

Friday 25th June
After loading Scary's kit into the motor, and getting caught in commuter traffic getting to the M4, we arrived at Chepstow. Neil sat us down to watch a DIR video all about kit configuration, and we then set about putting our kit together (we won't mention Scary putting his wing on the wrong way around). After plenty of glimmering, we (Neil, Scary, and I) headed down to the water, and jumped in. We swam in and out of the tubes, doing a bit of buddy breathing action. It all went OK, but I had a bit too many dangling guvnas, and I could have done with a longer octopus hose.

Back on dry land, we had a bite to eat, and then bought some clips and a long hose for me. Scary and I fannied about on the platforms for a bit, taking our stage cylinders on and off. I had problems putting the cylinder back on again, so had some more clip action to sort out back on dry land.

The weather forecast wasn't looking good for the weekend, but Scary and I went down to Plymouth anyway - Scary had booked us on a boat called the Blue Raider with two Navy blokes called Danny and Dave. I kept Scary enteratained on the way down by playing my Rolf Harris CDs that Bird had bought me for Christmas. Rolf Harris

With the help of my camera's map, we found the B+B, booked in, and headed into town. We went to the curry house that we'd been to several times before ("Peas, cooked with the Chef's own home-made cheese"), but were disappointed that we didn't get any Stella glasses. Still, they didn't mind us having one or two extra Stellas after we'd finished eating.

Saturday 26th June
Danny was skippering the boat today, he seemed like a nice bloke, and (unlike any other skipper I've been with) helped us on with our kit. It was very choppy, and most skippers were staying within the breakwater. Danny, on the other hand, would rather cancel the dive and refund our money, than give us a breakwater dive. Fortunately, he was up for going out to the Scylla, so off we went. "Blue Raider" got us there in no time at all, and it was the first time that I'd ever seen the JEL and the Scylla both completely empty of boats.

The weather got worse throughout the morning, so Danny cancelled the afternoon dive. After gimmering around fixing my dry-suit seal, and checking out dive shops, we went to check out the aquarium. I can remember a few things about the aquarium, the lack of a Scylla webcam, the totty that we asked about the webcam, and finding out that finding a dolphin alive on the beach was an emergency 999 call.

Rod Stewart After dropping the car off at the B+B, having a shower, and perving at the Rod Stewart totty on the TV, we walked back into town. This time, after a pint or two in The Navy (or whatever it's called), we ended up in a Chinese restaurant that served Stella. If I remember correctly, there was some nice totty there. After the Chinese, we went back to The Navy. What a bad move - it was full of scary hen night totty. There was one nice bird there, who seemed to have a G-string that covered her whole body. We left before either of us pulled her.

Sunday 27th June
We managed to get two dives in today. The first one was on The Elk (Dave didn't get the prop stuck on the shot line, honest). Scary and I misjudged our deco requirements slightly, and ended up doing a 67 minute dive instead of a 60 minute dive. Fortunately, Dave was OK about it all. The second dive was on the Scylla. There were two other divers on the boat, who'd never dived in the UK before. One of them had problems with his ears, so his buddy joined us to make a 3-some. Scary was trying to be good, so didn't play the "who can get the deepest" game.

Cheese On the way back, I kept Scary entertained by playing the CDs that he'd bought me for Christmas. He regretted buying me them at the start of the journey, but I regretted it by the end, after he'd played the Pizza Hut song about 20 times.

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Created on: 30 Jun 2004. Modified on: 29 Nov 2004.
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