Totty Roads

Jon and Billy's Trip - September 2004
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Friday 24th September

[I'm typing this up while I'm waiting for my first German class of the year to start. I've hardly spoken any German over the summer, and I'd even forgotten how sexy the receptionist is. I'd only been chatting to her for a minute or two before she asked me whether I was still at it - ooh err missus - before asking for my phone number].

It all started one Friday evening, when I had arranged to go to Slough Scuba with Jon Hayhurst, so that he could buy some dive kit. He'd been diving for quite a few years, but had never actually got around to buying any dive kit. He picked me up from work, and off we went to buy some dive kit.

In the shop, Gary was more than happy to help Jon chose some dive kit. My only concern was that I couldn't think of anything that I needed to buy for myself. Not even a pair of gloves or a clip! Still, Jon made up for it by buying a new semi-dry suit and a set of regs amongst other things.

We dropped Jon's car and new purchases off at my place, before heading off to The India for a curry. We had to eat quickly, because the table was booked for other people, but it was excellent food as always. We then went into Slough to watch Wimbledon and have a few Stellas.

Saturday 25th
Jon had to get up early to go to work, but, once he'd gone, I went back to bed for an hour or two (on my own unfortunately). I spent the rest of the morning gimmering around at home, until Jon turned up to drive me down to Weymouth. The plan was to go for a quick dive off Chesil Cove to check out Jon's kit before we did the 38m dive on the Sunday. When we got there, it looked too much like hard work with the waves pounding the beach, so I offered to be shore cover for Jon. He got kitted up, and went into the water. Five minutes later, he was back out, happy that his new kit (and all the stuff he'd borrowed from me) worked OK. I'd told him that there was a torch and a netcutter in the pocket of the stab; unfortunately, I hadn't told him how to open the pocket. It was a rather dark dive!

We headed off to Bagwell to put up Jon's tent and have some food and beer. The bar was rather empty (a family with some nosey pokyness were the only other people in the bar).

The food was good, but not quite enough, so we had an extra plate of cheesy chips. The barmaid informed us that she'd be shutting at 10 o'clock, so I asked her if she'd like to join us at the Victoria. "I would, but I've got the car with me" was her excuse.

When we got the the Victoria, it was quite empty and lifeless. The barmaid had made the right decision, and we only stayed for one drink.

Sunday 26th
We weren't diving until 2pm, so had plenty of gimmering time. The Red Barn wasn't serving breakfast, so we had to strike the tent, and head into town. We ended up at the Blue Oyster Cafe, and, as usual, were not dissapointed (except my breakfast didn't have any black pudding).

After breakfast, we still had plenty of gimmering time, so guvened around the dive shops for a bit. While queueing for tea in the AquaSplash cafe, I couldn't help but chat to the bird queueing next to me with tits bigger than Cat's (not as perfectly formed, but they were amazingly bigger).

We were on the boat and ready well before 2 o'clock. I recognised a few people from previous charters, and saw LardBoy still kitting up in the car park at 13:59. I realised that I'd left my octopus necklace in Jon's car, so asked the skipper if I had time to get it. "You've got one minute, and that minute has started". The skipper was in desperate need of a blow-job, so I decided not to make him late. Ten minutes later, LardBoy got on the boat, and the skipper was fuming.

There were the usual tecky boys on board, but there was also a nice bit of totty that I hadn't seen before. I was also pleasantly surprised to see that the bird from the cafe had decided to come out on the water anyway. With that low cut top, it was my plan to get her to help putting my fins on!

Anyway, over an hour later we arrived at the dive site. The totty was too busy throwing up to help putting my fins on, so Jon helped. Unfortunately, this didn't leave him with with any space to kit-up, because all the teckie boys had nabbed all the space.

Once they'd all gone, Jon had space to kit up, and in we went. It got gradually darker until all I could see was the strobe on my stab (that Jon was wearing). When we got to the bottom (we knew we had when we hit it), I went to turn my torch on. I knew it was clipped on just above my left nipple, but I couldn't see it. Once I'd found it, I turned it on, and we could see the small submerine. Having dived the M2 several times, this just didn't compare.

We governed around for a bit, and then surfaced again. We surfaced fairly close to the boat, and the big-breasted totty was still throwing up over the side. I knew I'd get to look down her top sometime!

Back on board the boat, the skipper was in a much better mood - it looked at is he'd had that blow-job. So that's why the totty had been throwing up oer the side!

Nobody else had been particularly impressed with the dive, but the new teckie totty diver did help me sort out the hot chocolate, which the skipper had kindly provided. Even with a nice drink, the journey back still felt far too long.

The whole afternoon took far longer than I had planned for, and I had a quiz night in Burnham to go to. Even with Jon's super speed back, and giving me a lift to Burnham, I only made it half-way through. Still, the pub served Stella, and there was some nice totty (obviously I only had eyes for Bird!).

Cheers Jon for a top weekend, and I do hope that the salt on your face was sea water!


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Created on: 29 Nov 2004. Modified on: 29 Nov 2004.
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